The Best Ever Book of Leeds United Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Here is your Leeds United morning digest on Tuesday, March 9. Leeds fans furious over VAR controversy To any young person pondering this strange phenomenon today ('What did you do during the golf bore war, Grandad?'), the assumption might be that all of this was merely a case of supply in response to demand, but that is not how things actually were. There was barely any demand outside of the comedy (and possibly the golfing) community; there was simply far too much unsolicited supply. Yes,” St Peter replied, “I agree that was a truly brave act.” Could you please tell me when this happened?”

However, VAR deemed that Bamford's touch put Costa in an offside position, despite the winger appearing to be level to the naked eye. Read More Related Articles If you grew up in Leeds there’s a fair chance your childhood was interspersed with the adventures of hand puppets Sooty and Sweep, and that your birthday party was held at Harry Ramsden’s. Mary, why didn’t you raise your hand?” the teacher asks, surprised. “Because I’m not a Liverpool fan,” she replies. “Well, if you are not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?” Mary replied, “I am an Everton fan, and I am proud of it.” The teacher couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Mary, why, pray tell, are you an Everton fan?” “Because my mum is an Everton fan, and my dad is an Everton fan, so I’m an Everton fan too!” “Well, that is no reason for you to be an Everton fan,” said the teacher, clearly annoyed. “You don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time… What if your mother was a prostitute and your father was a drug addict?” “Then,” Mary smiled, “I’d be a Liverpool fan. Good afternoon;" he said, "I'm Tony Collier's uncle. I've come to ask if he can have the afternoon off so I can take him to the match."

The oldest surviving film was captured in Leeds

Curiously enough, however, it was the TV All Stars, rather than the Showbiz XI, who proved the more politically engaged. In 1961, for example, when professional players, campaigning for the abolition of the maximum wage, were threatening to strike, the players' union planned some fundraising matches. While the Showbiz team declined to help on the grounds that they wanted to remain apolitical, the All-Stars happily obliged, winning a degree of gratitude within the sport that caused some resentment among their more cautious rivals.

Yeah, but last week we were caught and had to sit down and watch the rest of the game,” replied one of the fans. Why were so many comedians now drawn to golf? The traditional reason - which was, and to some extent still remains, very relevant - was that it was simply the most convenient leisure activity for entertainers who worked at night and had most of the day free. A round or two of golf enabled the resting comedian to wake up and emerge into the fresh air, get some moderate exercise in pleasant and semi-private surroundings, and socialise with one or a few of their co-stars in a relaxed and healthy context. The facilities were in easy access, whether one was working at home, or touring, or in summer season - there was always a local golf club from which one could inveigle an invitation - and the al fresco experience was an excellent contrast to the smoky, artificially-lit and adrenaline-driven thrill or ordeal of the variety theatre or recording studio. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top. Jesse Lingard opened the scoring after hitting home the rebound after Illan Meslier saved his initial penalty in the first-half. The fact is that it once was, in 1929. Move over Valhalla. American Gene Sarazen tees off in the Ryder Cup in Leeds in 1929 (Photo: Hulton Archive / Getty) Russell Crowe almost bought the football team

Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face. One day, as the driver was driving along, he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the van over. He asked the Priest, "Where are you going, Father?" Despite two goals from Stuart Dallas Leeds have lost in the play-offs to Derby. A definite case of Derby Does Dallas. #LEEDER